Creative Autobiography

            I started to sing very early in life, before I talked, actually. Singing, to me, was as natural as breathing. I loved the very process of singing; I sang everywhere. At the age of eight, after carefully listening to a performance of the opera “Eugene Onegin” at the Bolshoi Theater, I made the absolutely firm decision to become an operatic singer.  Two years later, I had memorized Pushkin’s poem “Eugene Onegin” [upon which the opera is based] in its entirety. Soon I had also read Pushkin’s “The Queen of Spades”.  I was always a voracious reader, but my main interest was in books which were used in operatic or theatrical compositions. Through these books, I learned of the characters of the heroes, their world views and their philosophical outlook on life. Each time I approach a role, I re-read my favorite books. While still a student at the Ipolitov-Ivanov academy of music, I became familiar with the work of Maria Callas. Her voice drove me mad. Her timbre haunted me everywhere. I thought that I would die if I didn’t sing the way she did. No, not to mimic her art, (that would be my own) but to use it as my standard. I have no wish to create idols for myself, but Callas!!
I love the opera of Verdi, but may favorite composers remain Tchaikovsky and Puccini.
I started my career as a concert singer. At the age of nineteen, I went to a J.S. Bach international competition in Leipzig and received a ‘diploma’ for my efforts. I was very proud of this because I did not appreciate, at first, the difficulty of this competition. There was great complexity in the style, manner of performance, and the demands of the German Language. This was in addition to stage presence, and the pauses which are to be held for specific intervals. To this day, I approach the work of Bach with great trepidation.
German songs hold a special place in my creative repertoire. Once in Germany, after a concert where I performed Schumann’s “Love and Life of a Woman” , I was approached by a married couple. “Not every German singer could express the meaning of this work so sensitively, and touch the soul as you have” said the man to me, and I could see tears in his wife’s eyes. Since then I have felt as though I have experienced my baptismal fire from the Germans themselves. I have developed concerts specifically dealing with the music of Mozart, Mendelssohn, Schubert, Schumann, Wolfe, and Bohm. Thus, I matured to understand and appreciate the work of Goethe, Thomas Mann and Heine. This was a wonderful German romantic period in my life. When I perform German songs, I feel as though my life has been a success, since my voice allows me to not only perform complex operatic roles, but also to sing in a chamber environment, giving people joy just standing next to a piano.
I am very thankful to the higher musical school “Mozartium” in Salzburg because it was there that I truly learned the roots of operatic technique.
I started my operatic career with three Puccini roles: Mimi in La Boheme, Chiu-Chiu-San in Madame Butterfly  and Liu in Turandot. Soon, I added the tile role in Tosca, which has become my favorite. Over and over again, as in the first time, I agonize over the execution of Mario, each time firmly believing that my lover yet lives!  It is an obsession! The infernal music in this scene would drive my soul from me, and I became, literally, my heroine. It was difficult, after the performance, to return to the stage to take my bows; sometimes, I couldn’t even hear the audience. I was, however, ecstatic to be able to experience such a transformation.  At one performance of Boheme I suddenly caught myself believing that I was ill. I started to cough, and live the life of my heroine, even after the performance was over. However, the most interesting moment due to this kind of total immersion in my character  was when poor Othello thought that he had really strangled me. We laughed about that (afterwards) for quite some time. I sincerely love my partners on stage, my costumers, makeup  and hair and wig stylists,  I love all of the people with whom I work. I often feel that they have come my way in order to make me grow in my art.
One of these people is Gail Gilmore, a soloist at the Metropolitan Opera in New York who taught me several of her vocal techniques, and helped me believe in myself. I am very thankful to Alexander E. Maikarov, musicologist, harpsichordist, and organist. I was always fascinated by ancient Italian music and he helped me realize my dream of mastering it. After performing for Queen Elizabeth in Moscow, I was offered a contract to do a series of ancient music concerts in the Kremlin. A. E. Maikarov helped me greatly in this effort. I was very luck to have sung a great deal of this music with organ accompaniment in Moscow, in Poland and in the Baltic States.
I love each of the pieces that I perform since I select each of them on a highly emotional level. I can not sing that which does not touch my soul so, therefore, I must, from time to time, refuse certain work. I thank God that Opera is, again gaining in popularity.  I am often asked by my audience why I don’t sing contemporary music. My answer is that it does not touch my soul. I am the most fortunate of people since life has gifted me contact with the highest art. I love the ballet, but even more, I love fine painting, especially impressionists such as Corot. I can spend an hour looking at a favorite painting, and come away wanting more. Sometimes I hear the music of the greatest composers through a painting.  Everything which is important, sooner or later, intersects. Everything which is great has but one source.
Twice in 2007, I became a laureate of concourses in ancient music in Moscow and in Tallinn.  This is probably because each one of the pieces that I performed went through an agony of experience. Each was selected on, as I say, a highly emotional level.
Everything in this life gladdens me, and I hope to have the time in my life to experience a great deal. I am often asked about my hobbies. It is difficult to explain that my voice and my work are, in fact my hobbies, and indeed, my entire life. True, I love dancing and rollerblading. I am fascinated by studies of cosmic energy,  and books and movies.  My favorite actors are Demi Moore, Al Pacino, and Michael Douglas. The films of which I never tire are “The Godfather”, “Ghost”, “Funny Girl”, “The Game”,  and “Dirty Dancing”. The same pertains to books. I want to experience everything, but I can re-read Bulgakov, Nabokov, Maughm and Gogol many times over.